I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it

It’s 11 degrees and snowing here today.  But it’s a dry cold, to bastardize a saying. I decided to see what supermarket panic looks like in the face of a big snowstorm, and I have to say it was not bad at all.

Until I saw this, when I whipped out my camera in a panic:

Now that is terrifying, for a number of reasons. First of all, for the trademark geeks among us, this is a great example of violating the cardinal rule that says you don’t turn your trademark into a noun. Not that naming a cheese substitute “chreese” is all that original or distinctive, but calling the product “chreesy” doesn’t help. 

Second, for the language geeks: How are we supposed to pronounce “chr-” here?  Obviously, they want us to pronounce it with a soft “ch-” as in cheese, but the fact is that “chr-” has a hard “ch-” as in chronic. So I totally want to pronounce chreesy as “kreezy.”  Moreover, I don’t like the word “cheesy” in product naming at all, so to highlight it as they do is a major turnoff.

Third, and finally, for those who enjoy cooking and eating, feh.  This product sounds disgusting. There are plenty of appetizing dishes to eat if you’re vegan or must eat a dairy-free or gluten-free diet. Here’s a great mashed potato dish – enjoy!

[Edited to correct adjective to noun in my cardinal rule discussion!]