A really lousy name

I have no choice but to assume that these socks are uncomfortably itchy:

NO, IF YOU CHANGE THE SPELLING OF A GENERIC TERM IT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO CLAIM TRADEMARK RIGHTS. How many times have I said that in my 22-year career in trademark law?

BUT THERE’S MORE: If you are going to change the spelling in a misguided attempt at distinctiveness, could you try not to change it to a word that brings horror to the mind of mothers everywhere?

BONUS POINTS: Alaskan Nits? Made in North Carolina. 

Garden State-style?

I thought that the cacophony emanating from Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives of New Jersey had dissipated a bit. I think Bulova got the message a bit late, and a bit off course:

I guess it’s better than the Secaucus Collection, but not by a lot.

N.B. Hey, I can diss Jersey – both my parents are from there. I did serious time as a child in a car on the fetid northern end of the Turnpike. I know whereof I speak!