Woe is me

I clearly lost hold of my senses the day I allowed myself to be seduced by an offer for a ridiculously cheap subscription to US Weekly. I think I used the excuse that I could find blogging matter in its trashy contents. At least, that’s the defense I offered to my husband and daughters, and I’m sticking with it. So it’s time for me to dive into the tawdry depths.

What I’ve noticed after three weeks is that even the ads in US seem cheesier and less polished than in other magazines. Maybe I’m just letting the content influence me, I don’t know … but for example, this one certainly didn’t impress me:
Yep, along with “sneak peak” as a misspelling that betrays the user’s ignorance of the meaning of the term, “woah” is sad evidence that its users are unaware of the meaning of “whoa.” Worse yet, the word’s entry in Wordnik is sad evidence that people also don’t know the difference between “whoa” and “woe.”
One thing’s for sure though: “woah” is always wrong.

Let me get this straight …

So I’ll get 36 hours of protection if I use it every 12 hours over a day and a half? 48 if I use it every 12 hours over two days? I think all I’m going to get from this is reinforcement of my multiples of twelve. I can’t stop looking at this bottle and thinking there’s something wrong about this assertion; is anyone else similarly troubled? 

Beer here

Colorado is a mecca for beer drinkers, and we are committed, along with friends in Boulder and here in the Denver burbs, to visiting as many brewpubs as possible. Don’t worry – there’s always a designated driver, and it’s usually me, as I have zero tolerance for the stamina this pub crawling requires.

This past weekend we tried some Boulder-area breweries, and weren’t disappointed. Our favorite, for a repeat performance, was Avery Brewing Company. Their Eremita III, a “sour ale without the training wheels,” was a revelation. (Hey, the driver allows herself a few tastes!) At Asher Brewing, we enjoyed a spirited game of darts along with beers that bore green-themed names as a tribute to their organic brewing: Greenade, Green Monstah, Green Bullet, and Green Lantern, to name a few.
My favorite on the humor front was Golden City Brewery – not for its name, which merely indicates its location (Upslope, another one we stopped at, wins my name prize of the evening – and damn good beer too), but rather for its slogan, with its clever nod to its much larger neighbor in picturesque Golden:
That reads “The Second Largest Brewery in Golden.” (Apologies – I’m just learning how to use my iPhone camera.) The casual, dreadlock-wearing crowd at Golden City was definitely the antidote to the corporate behemoth a few blocks away. Cheers!
The fall pub crawl returns to Denver; stay tuned.

June Birchbox

Visiting parents and in-laws on both coasts has significantly cut into my blogging time in the past two weeks, not to mention getting the time I’ve spent exercising my credit cards to get the kids ready for camp. So my apologies – I know you’ve all been waiting breathlessly for the June Birchbox report, and here it is.

The theme this month is, appropriately enough, Jet Set. I can’t say I disagree with their statement that “every June we still get giddy about dusting off our suitcases and planning an itinerary” – that’s what I’ve been doing in quadruplicate for this summer. And these items will actually all come in handy for my upcoming travels.
First, we have this:
Not particularly exciting on the naming front, but always useful.
Next, a name I really like: 
Stainiac – suggestive and protectable, and I even like the “hint of tint for cheeks and lips” line; it’s very catchy. And it does indeed work as a nice hint of lipcolor. And the house mark for this product – theBalm is a lot cheekier (!) when you say it aloud than when you just read it.
Stila is a well-established brand with a solid name, and this product looks like something that will be a valued addition to my travel kit:
A repeat offender rears its head: 
Yes, it’s Juliette Has a Gun perfume. And their website still contains some hilariously nonsensical language. For example, “Juliette Has a Gun est un electron libre dans le monde de la parfumerie.” And I’m not sure a bullet-shaped perfume dispenser is going to impress the folks at the TSA with its owner’s originality …
And finally, the “lifestyle extra”:
The “tili bag” for your liquids at the airport. I could draw on a plain Ziploc bag, no?
Happy trails and travels for the summer!

Tongue nor heart Cannot conceive nor name thee!

I would continue with “The attempt and not the deed Confounds us,” but this deed confounds me as well:

Other thoughts? “Infirm of purpose”? “Leave no rubs or botches in the work”? Macbeth is generally viewed as Shakespeare’s bloodiest tragedy, so it’s causing me some major cognitive dissonance when it’s juxtaposed with the flowery background and “Decorate your life … ” tagline – not to mention the PINK!
Google informs me that Macbeth is also the name of a shoe and apparel company. While I’m still not convinced it’s a mark that says “buy me,” this company’s website and the mood it conveys are anything but cheerful; indeed, some of their t-shirts bear downright foreboding graphics. So I’d say the shoes win the battle of the Macbeths.
H/t to my now-rising high school junior for finding this gem!